After Thoughts of the Middle Kingdom's Crown Tournament and My Squiring Ceremony

 

On Saturday, July 17th, 2021, I had the distinct pleasure of attending my first Crown tournament.  I've been active in the SCA for 5 years now, but Crown tournaments are normally held on the same weekend as my daughter's birthday and in the fall, on my wedding anniversary.  This has made it almost impossible for me to attend in the past.  Needless to say, I was beyond excited when the announcement was made for the first event post-pandemic was going to be a Crown tournament located in Xenia, Ohio, only 2 hours drive from me.  Then my knight, his Grace, Duke Sir Cellach MacChormach asked me if I would be his squire and have the ceremony at Crown tournament, I was floored.  Last summer (2020) around July, he had asked me if I would be his squire, but due to the pandemic, we had no events and had to wait another year, so the anxiety and anticipation had a long time to build. I'd been his man at arms since 2018, so 3 years in the making. 

Anyways, leading up to crown tournament I worked extremely hard to prepare myself for the event.  I made new garb, I made my lists of things to bring, and tried my best to brace myself for the overstimulation of 500+ people at an event.  Even in normal times that many people often causes sensory overload for me (joys of being autistic), so I was ready with my headphones, snacks, and escape routes for if and when things went sideways.

Anxiety aside, I woke up and began my day driving to Xenia at 0500 AM and arrived there at 0700 AM. One of the many welcome changes from the pandemic occurred upon arrival when they did the troll in (check-in) from the vehicles.  Pre-registration for the event was required, so all I had to do was pull up, present my ID, and then drop my stuff off at the day camp and park.  Seriously, this was a game changer.  It made my morning so much better.  After parking, I got dressed, pulling on my braies, the fancy woolen hose, my under tunic, Cotehardie, Surcote, belt and woolen hood.  I felt amazing wearing all of this, but as the morning progressed I began to sweat profusely. As I was distracted with helping lug gear for others, setting things up, and generally preparing for the rest of the day, I found myself not hydrating enough.  As someone who is on two different SSRI medications for anxiety and depression, risk of heat and sun related illness is increased a lot.  I knew better, but got so distracted I forgot to take care of myself.  

As we lined up to wait our turn for the morning procession, I was so proud to get to hold the banner for my knight.  I was standing there waiting, sweating a ton, when I was hit by massive pain from my kidney stone shifting (7.8mm stone in my right kidney, being surgically removed next month).  I felt a massive wave of nausea and dizziness hit and tried to fight through it.  I wanted to be there for my chosen family but as we continued to wait, my vision began to narrow into tunnels and everything began to spin.  I handed off the banner to Kari, who was behind me, and stepped out of the line, wobbling over to the day camp.  I sat down and was immediately immersed in the kindest people checking in on me.  I was helped out of my layers down to my under clothes, given water, and some sugary treats to get my blood sugar up.  I grabbed my pain medicine and took that then laid down on the grass.  It lasted maybe 20-30 minutes and about 2 liters of water later I was back on my feet, but now only had just my surcote over my tunic, chausses and braies. As procession ended prior to the fights beginning I was asked if I was feeling good enough to do my squiring ceremony and I felt much better, so we proceeded.

This was an incredibly special moment for me for many reasons.  Nim was taken as man at arms to Count Sir Alric, who is like a brother to Duke Cellach and our households are in many ways considered cousins.  We do many things together, and some things may be slightly different but there is such a balance that Cellach and Alric bring to things.  To be able to be squired in the presence of both of these men was incredible.  To do so with my brother in arms, Kadas Kadakov, whom started fighting in the SCA shortly after I did, having trained and fought together, was just this experience of comradery that can only be experienced in certain scenarios. As I knelt in front of Cellach and Kadas knelt in front of Alric, I could feel this weight pressing down on me.  My hands felt heavy as they gripped Cellach's sword.  I repeated my oath after Cellach, was given a kiss on the forehead from a man that is everything I hope to be.  I stood and was presented with a chain made by Cellach, linking me in fealty to him and to the Crown.  Duchess Vukasin approached and wrapped the red belt around my waist, as Cellach described the reason for the red belt.  Hugs were shared and I felt a happiness that I cannot put into words.  

I have talked about it before that when I began in the SCA I didn't understand knighthood nor the chivalric path, but through the examples of Duke Cellach, Count Alric, Duke Edmond and others, I learned that being a knight wasn't just being an athlete on the field.  It wasn't about being a brute, or playing a game.  It is about attempting to apply the chivalric virtues (many people have various opinions as to what these virtues are, but I align with Duke Cellach on them) Courtesy, Faith, Humility, Largess, Loyalty, Prowess, & Valor, into my everyday life.  To truly be knightly, not to pretend to be a knight but to do my best to capture these virtues and to be worthy everyday of my life. I know that my squiring marks the beginning of a new path for me.  I have a ton of work to do, to apply these virtues to my life and a long way to go.  I know I can be a worthy person, and that through the guidance of my knight, that I will became a better person than before.  That someday I might be worthy enough to truly be knightly.  

Back to the Crown tournament and a little bit less romanticizing, I watched the fights of some of the worthiest fighters the Midrealm has to offer.  It was incredible to me how prepared these fighters were, coming back out of a hiatus from the pandemic and moving with precision and grace.  As the day went on, the final two fighters left were his Grace, Duke Ullr and my knight, his Grace Duke Cellach. These men, bonded through brotherhood and through Duchess Vukasin, who is Duke Cellach's wife and Duke Ullr's squire daughter, met in the lyst field.  They faced each other with love and admiration and fought hard.  (For video of the fights, check out this youtube video by Lynne Fairchild and give her channel a like and subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlAwRKAhC_8)

If you watch these fights, you can imagine how I felt, standing there for 5 bouts of the battle of attrition.  My grip on the household banner was so tight my knuckles were white and I had to constantly remind myself to breath. To watch as these men, clashed like titans, fighting for the honor of their consorts...it is difficult to describe. The final bout was a tie breaker and was won by his Grace, Duke Ullr.  I cannot speak for how Duke Cellach felt in that moment, but I believe that he was satisfied with the outcome, knowing that a dear friend had won, and that the Midrealm had secured heirs for the future benefit of the kingdom.  In the back of my mind, I was experiencing a mix of emotions.  I didn't want Duke Cellach to lose, but at the same time, his loss meant that I would be able to have more of his attention in the months to come.  Selfish, I know, but I'll work on that.  I also realize that due to the proximity of our household to Duke Ullr's household, it doesn't mean we get out of the work associated with a reign, and I for one am excited to help in any way that I can. I am also excited as I haven't had the pleasure of experiencing Duke Ullr as Crown and all that may come with his reign.  I have a feeling, given his personality that we are in for a fun time. 

After the tournament was over I had the distinct pleasure of spending quality time with both my knight, just hanging out and with Countess Violante do Porto (V for short), the Marquesa of Mischief, formerly of the East Kingdom, now of the Middle. I spent the rest of my day with my face hurting from smiling.  I shared hugs with so many people that I care about, all of them wishing me well on my new path.  I cannot begin to even thank all those that have influenced me in the past and helped me along the way.  The day went by so fast and by the time the event was over, I felt the extreme exhaustion creeping in. I drove home and passed out in bed. It has taken me two days to try to form the words that encompass my emotions associated with this weekend.  Honestly, I'm still processing everything, and trying to get my bearings.  

My main takeaways from all of this is that a life in harness is blessed, that the path is your own, and there is no deadline to get to the destination.  It isn't a race, but a journey.  Our lives are enriched, not by the things around us, but by those who choose to journey with us. I love my friends and family in the SCA.  I love my time in armor.  I love applying the things I learn from my hobby to my every day life.  So thank you, to everyone who has travelled with me up to this point.  I look forward to walking beside you on the rest of our journey!