What do I want out of the SCA?

As I sit here and think, I look back to when my wife dragged me to the first SCA group meeting at the Shire of Mugmort.  People may not know, but I have anxiety and depression and as an introvert, socializing takes a huge amount of energy for me.  Add into the fact that I’m actually a bit shy (until I get to know people then I’m just obnoxious), it was more than a bit daunting to attend.  First impressions of these crazy guys, dressed up in armor, beating the piss out of each other. As blows rained down you would hear the occasional call of “light” or “good”.  I couldn’t understand what was going on or how they did what they did. 

Fast forward a bit, and we had taken the kids a few times, I got talked into purchasing some groin protection and into some janky loaner armor I went.  The steel arms were heavy, the legs were barely strapped to me, I couldn’t move well for fear of my pants falling off from the weight of the leg armor on the belt. The padding in the helmet kept slipping down into my eyes block my field of vision.  Just getting into the armor left me breathless. 

Then I began to learn calibration.  Feeling what a good, solid hit from rattan felt like as opposed to a clumsy, glancing blow.  A shield and sword were placed in my hands and my posture was adjusted until I resembled something of a fighting stance. I think I lasted 5 minutes…maybe.  As soon as I finished and stripped out of the armor, I knew I would be back.  I hadn’t felt an adrenaline rush like that in years.  I was addicted.  I went home and spent hours, pouring through the internet searching for information on armor, historical grave finds, different weapons, construction methods, YouTube videos of SCA fights.  Over the next few months I continued to get in armor, swing the sword and attempt to become a worthy opponent.  I collected armor pieces, improving the fitment of each, modifying for maximum protection while maintaining what little mobility I had.  My first year in the SCA was like swimming in a giant ocean, treading water and trying to make headway towards some goal.  But what was my goal?

During my journey, I met Dimarus.  Dimarus is a fast and naturally talented fighter with a great sense of humor and we fast became friends.  It was through him that I learned more and was eventually introduced to his knight, His Grace, Duke Cellach MacCormaic.  I found great inspiration in this noble man, not only through his fighting prowess, but also in his interactions with the people around him.  Strong, yet gentle and always kind.  He was a Prince when I first met him, and then King.  As I learned to fight, he would lend simple instruction, helping me overcome my own limitations and allowing me opportunity to excel.  Through his instruction and encouragement, I went on to participate in my first novice tourney.  After each bout, he would give simple words of encouragement, correcting my errors and showing me how to press the attack.  I was tired, exhausted, barely able to lift my arms to block or strike and yet at the end of it, I was victor.  I was overcome with shock and utter exhaustion.  I’m still not sure how I won, but the results were there. After this moment, I knew without a doubt that I wanted to serve Duke Cellach.  In a later conversation, I spoke of my desires to learn and grow under his tutelage, and hopefully bring honor to his house.  Soon after, I was offered a place as man-at-arms for Duke Cellach and the Duchy of Lozengia became my home. 

I am now surrounded by a SCA family that helps and inspires me.  We joke, we tease, and we build each other up.  I couldn’t have hoped for a better opportunity.  I continued to work at my fighting, improving my armor, working on the basics of stance and striking, blocking with my shield and learning to move.  It isn’t easy.  I joined the gym at work and have been lifting weights on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, while doing yoga class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I spend time at home slowing working on my swordsmanship on my pell.  I’m far from perfect.  I’ve recently had to adjust, as life has shifted, and my wife’s new job meant my opportunity to attend fight practice was no longer an option, as her night shift occurred during the same times as practices.  This shift has caused me to pause and think what is it that I want out of the SCA and how do I achieve it.  Is my goal to become a knight or a laurel?  Am I here for the physical activity or do I just enjoy playing dress-up?  What other things have I gotten out of the SCA?

I’ve been considering all of these things for some time now, and my goal at this time is to become better.  I don’t mean at fighting or crafting, but generally just become a better man.  Over the past two years I’ve been attempting to just improve myself a little bit at a time.  Be more patient.  Push myself to be more active.  Fight a little bit longer.  Walk a little bit farther.  Lift a bit heavier.  Spend more time with my kids.  Set aside time for my wife.  Share time with others I care about. Be present.  I just want to be a better person.  More positive, less negative.  Worry less.  Have fun.  As long as this is my focus I truly feel like I will progress in life.  I have surrounded myself with great and amazing people, many whom I consider to be personal heroes!  I have chosen my path and will follow it to wherever it leads.  I will set an example for my children and strive to guide them to the best of my ability. I will always seek to improve upon myself and all the tasks that I set forth to accomplish.  Go the distance, accept change, do better. Always moving forward.  This is my goal and I will accomplish it.